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My favorite thing about having 5 kids in the house (my 3 + my niece and nephew) is that once 2 of them go home I think, “Gee, it’s pretty quiet here. I only have 3 kids in the house.”
It’s just one hilarious moment after another here. The girls are dressed to the hilt in the play princess dresses and veils and shoes and handbags, etc, and they come upstairs from the basement playroom and tell me they’re having a wedding.
I say, “Who’s the kallah [bride]?” My niece says, “We’re both the kallahs.”
I say, “Who’s the chossen [groom]?” The girls look at each other and shrug.
My niece says, “There isn’t a chossen. We’re just marrying each other.”
I choke down a laugh and say, “Who’s the rabbi?”
My nephew, 2 1/2 comes trailing along behind holding a Sports Illustrated magazine like an open book and says, “I da rabbi, I da rabbi.”
Overheard in the bath: my daughter “Mary” the daughter of very ideological Reform Jews, and her cousin “Sue” who is being raised Orthodox (the girls are the same age – just a few months apart):
Mary: Sue, guess what? God lives in my pupik.
Sue, very shocked: MARY! THAT’S NOT TZNIUS (modest)! Hashem does not live in your pupik!
Mary: What does that mean?
ME: Sue, what do you mean?
Sue: No one should see you naked!
ME: Sue, you’re right, we should all be modest and careful about who sees us naked. But God is special, and is there for us whatever we’re wearing. Remember Adam and Chava were naked.
Sue: Oh yeah.
Mary: And when you’re dead, you’re naked.
ME: Let’s not go there.
Second Conversation, same bath. Playing with the Noah’s Ark tub toys.
Sue: Give me Noah’s wife.
Mary: Who’s Noah’s wife?
Sue: She’s right there, give her to me.
Mary: Oh! There she is! Floating by the Taybah. What’s her name again?
Sue: I don’t know. Aunt EK, what’s Noah’s wife’s name?
ME: She does not have a name in the Torah. She’s just known as Noah’s wife.
Mary, indignant, with hands on hips: THAT’S NOT FAIR! WHY DOESN’T SHE HAVE A NAME?
Sue: Well that’s the way Hashem wanted it.
ME: Ladies, could we just get clean here?
Anyone who says young children don’t absorb these kinds of big ideas clearly has not spent time in the bath with these two. Yes folks, the daughters of an Orthodox Jew and Reform idealogues. Should be interesting to watch them grow up :-)